The Neil Warnock Trophy

I have been mulling over various different topics for posting recently; an article on wrestling following the death of the Macho Man Randy Savage, a top 5 fictional drunks, a top 5 musicals, profiles of various music projects, a treatise on the art of boules...all of these worthy topics, but I have thus far struggled to find a sweet little moment in which to compose both myself and them.

Instead, my hand has been drawn for me. This Saturday, the 11th of June, shall see once again the forces of good and evil descend on that most provincial of English cities, the fair Exeter of Devon. It is, of course, the annual rematch between two of the most mismatched rivals in sporting history, between the ridiculously named and ridiculously attired Team Laser Explosion Mob and the far more brave and handsome Brotherhood of Justice.

The rivalry has been alive and well since 2006, its seed germinating when team captains Oliver Tiberius Ezekiel Jarman and, yours truly, James Douglas Iago Chrysanthemum McIntosh, extended their acquaintance within the confines of heated Past and Present seminars. Those were heated times, leading to heated confrontations on and off the field.

They have had a fierce history; In 2007 we played for the Richmond Road Invitational Cup. In 2008 TLEM fought back from 0-4 down to claim the Steve Sidwell Memorial Trophy. In 2009 the BoJ managed to sneak the Bruce Grobbelar Trophy (I think) through a bit of the old "next goal wins it" magic. 2010 saw the unofficial stag do victory head to TLEM. As you can see, the results have tended to swing towards Ollie's team more often than not.

What the Brotherhood of Justice lack in the results department, they usually make up for in the popular support market. This is a team that represents not only the people, but both the land of the people and the animals of the people as well. They can usually count on lots of lovely and attractive people turning out to support them. These people are often their seventh, eighth, ninth and tenth men, giving a strong numerical advantage to them in their quest for that elusive minx, Glory. It just goes to show that quality is probably more important than quantity.

This time though, in these difficult, difficult times, with the economy receding further than Wayne Rooney's hairline and a society receiving more ill-advised cuts than a punter in a drunken barbershop, few are able to make the long pilgrimage this year. We will be down to a solid six, an electric six, perhaps with a magnificent seventh, who can say? This will be the first time a mighty team of WAGs and BABs won't be present to cheer on our green-clad heroes. Will this lead to an upturn in fortunes? Will this eradicate those distractions that have been the perennial stumbling blocks thus far (apart from that one time)?

Let us hope so. The Team Laser Explosion Mob are not a nutritious bunch. Whenever we invited them to parties back at uni they wouldn't come. Ollie came once or twice, granted, but then secretly he wishes he was part of the Brotherhood of Justice. They never went to the Cavern. They probably chose fish and chips over veggie kebabs at the Raj. They probably don't know where the Exeter Picturehouse is. For shame. These guys deserve to be put in their place. Perhaps this could be the year it happens.

above - the banner of the Brotherhood of Justice

Whatever happens this weekend, we can rest assured that Voss, Earwaker, McIntosh, Parker, Dawes, Cowley and perhaps even Dunkley will give their all, eat lots of food, drink lots of alcohol and wake up with very sore heads on Sunday morning. Exeter is a lovely city with lots of great places to visit; if I'm able to fit in the Top 5 (Boston Tea Party, the Cavern, the Raj, Real McCoys and Beerbox) then I will be overjoyed. However, even if we end up going to Arena or worse, I can rest safe in the knowledge that I will get a chance at some point to take Oliver Jarman's legs out. Oh yes.