Productive Procrastination!

Aww shucks. I am in the midst of a dissertation crisis. On the Sunday just passed I discovered, through a chance encounter, that my MA dissertation needs to be 15,000 words, not 10,000. This freaked me out a little, and threw my (barely existent) plans out of the window.

After a period of two weeks off work I am now back doing full-time hours, and concentrating on essay writing following 7.5 hours of national health service admissions officing is proving tricky. I've so far found getting my mind down to business difficult, which means it's looking as though my weekend is going to be a fairly intense period of academic graft.

There is some respite in the make-up of my MA dissertation: as it is a creative and critical writing masters course I am able to write up to 50% of the work as creative writing. Obviously this will necessitate just as much planning and thought as a critical essay, but creative writing is definitely an easier thing to get into the right mood for. For me it is anyway.

Now, I've yet to attempt any serious writing at any length close to 7,500 words, but I've decided to use this as an opportunity to have a go at a short story idea I've had for a while. The dissertation title is 'Violent Animal Subjectivities in The Plague Dogs'; a wonderful novel by Richard Adams that I would wholeheartedly recommend everyone and anyone to read, following two dogs that escape from an ethically questionable scientific research station in the Lake District. I am (so far) examining how Adams creates the animal subjectivities within the novel, what role violence plays in this, and what wider repercussions these have in general (I realise I need to develop a proper argument still for this. At the moment the most refined argument I have is that the novel itself is a form of animal testing). My short story needs to tie in with these themes, and so what I have decided to do, during this period where I cannot focus on critical writing, is to cook up some form of basic plot outline. Hooray!

* SPOILER ALERT! The following will probably contain spoilers. It will also containing writing of the vaguest kind, as the writer attempts to cobble a loose selection of thoughts into a well-formed story shoe. *

1. The story will open with 3 characters; the Protagonist, the Love Interest and the Antagonist. Let's refer to these as Pierrot, Linda and Anthony. Anthony has, in the eyes of Pierrot, stolen Linda from him in some underhand way. Pierrot is made aware of this, and of how much of a cad this Anthony is, when suddenly, very suddenly, he is killed! He will blame Anthony for this, but at this stage I am unsure how intentional his death will be.

2. Pierrot enters a Limbo area. Here he meets some Divine Celestial Creature. I shall refer to the DCC as Colobus M. Colobus M explains to Pierrot, after a short discussion of what just happened, that reincarnation is available to some degree. The concept is that the soul of the deceased can find itself reborn inside the body of a 'lower being' (probably won't use such a negative term), and Pierrot sees this as an opportunity for revenge. Colobus M warns that the shock of rebirth will lead to the soul suffering from a form of memory loss, and full remembrance will only be achieved through certain trigger events. Something like that. I haven't thought of the logistics yet. Pierrot is happy to attempt this though, being the vengeful type. Colobus M also says you only get three shots at reincarnation. Because, you know, fairy tales and the like always use lists of three.

3. Pierrot is unknowingly reincarnated as a dog/cat! I will chose one of these as they are closest to human in terms of domestic relationships, and so should thus be the easiest animal for Pierrot to reawaken (i.e. recollect his human memories). I think I will probably opt for a dog as it will tie in with the critical essay more easily, and will feel like the type of animal Pierrot might be able to successfully wreak some vengeance as. There will be a brief period of doggishness before Pierrot reawakens, and then rashly tries to kill Anthony, only for some horrible accident to befall him (run over by a car perhaps?) and his first attempt at reincarnation to fail.

4. Pierrot re-enters the Limbo area. Colobus M shakes his head in amusement having witnessed Pierrot's clumsy attempt at vengeance. He warns Pierrot that next time it will be harder, being a 'lower' creature. Pierrot nods, and begins reincarnation number 2...

5. Pierrot is unknowingly reincarnated as a bird/mouse! These animals are wilder than the dog and the cat, still fairly familiar but less powerful. I will probably go for bird as it will allow for a more different style of narrative. It will take longer for Pierrot to awaken, but when he does he will attempt a more calculated manoeuvre to get Anthony. Yet again though, something will go awry. I am thinking at this point the successive deaths of Pierrot should never be attributable to Anthony. So, perhaps Pierrot could try divebombing Anthony only to crash into a window. Something like that.

6. Pierrot is back in Limbo again and Colobus M. is distinctly unimpressed. Particularly with how Pierrot's human instincts are the ruin of these perfectly fine animals. He warns that he has one final shot at this vengeance, and Pierrot grimly steps forward towards his destiny.

7. Pierrot is unknowingly reincarnated as a spider! On paper the weakest of all these animals, and furthest removed from the human. However, the spider has the fear factor on his side. Unwittingly, Pierrot the Spider will somehow manage to depose Anthony, either through scaring him away or accidentally killing him through fright. The irony will be that this will happen without Pierrot awakening. Linda will see this happen and of course be very upset. Angered, she will take it upon herself to kill Pierrot the Spider. Pierrot will somehow perceive that this big human lady is upset, which may in turn awaken his human memories just as the rolled up newspaper is crashing down.

*SPOILERS END HERE*

My fear is that this may be too similar to Irvine Welsh's short story, The Granton Star Cause, which focuses on a character being turned into a fly (or bluebottle?) by a vulgar Scottish God for wasting his life up until that point. I will have to reread it to make sure it's not too similar. The plan is for this story to illustrate the inhumanity of humans in contrast with the nature of animals as others, with a view to playing around with different narrative voices in order to contrast the human and non-human and hopefully avoid sloppy anthropomorphism. We shall see. It's an idea that's been bobbing around in my head for a while, so it will be good to finally get it out onto paper. Once it's finished I'll post it up on here.

Eaten Alive

I do not recall when

But you invited yourself round for dinner.

You, with insatiable hunger

And eager to bite,
Ill-prepared, I thought I had nothing to give,

What could I do

But unconsciously offer myself?

Ignoring small talk

You dove straight in gracelessly

And I could do nothing

And before I knew it

You were finished and gone.

I, bereft of guest

And left cleaning up,

Scraping away at your empty plate

Alone, attempting to digest

This scarred tableau.