Wednesday 30 March 2011

Who put the dog in the basket?

Who put the dog in the basket?
Who put the dog in the microwave?
Who put the dog in the washing machine?
Who put the dog in the airing cupboard?
Who put the dog in the thick of it?
Who put the dog in the firing line?
Who put the dog in the opening credits?
Who put the dog in the name of our fathers?
Who put the dog in the missionary position?
Who put the dog in the incorrect pay banding?
Who put the dog in the back of the photo?
Who put the dog in the miniature sailor costume?
Who put the dog in the heat of the moment?
Who put the dog in the dock?
Who put the dog in the catapult?
Who put the dog in the white wash?
Who put the dog in the wrong key?
Who put the dog in the digestive system?
Who put the dog in the Irn Bru Scottish First Division?
Who put the dog in the punch?
Who put the dog in the kettle?
Who put the dog in the encore?
Who put the dog in the ointment?
Who put the dog in the fire?
Who put the dog in the opening line of his novel?
Who put the dog in the best man's speech?
Who put the dog in the boot of his car, bound in duct tape?
Who put the dog in the cockpit?
Who put the dog in the eye?
Who put the dog in the navy?
Who put the dog in the wrong place at the wrong time?
Who put the dog in the jazzercise class?
Who put the dog in the city?
Who put the dog in the back of the net?
Who put the dog in the best of 2010?
Who put the dog in the lead role?
Who put the dog in the bonus round?
Who put the dog in the qualifying round?
Who put the dog in the specimen jar?
Who put the dog in the fridge?
Who put the dog in the running for President?
Who put the dog in the circus?
Who put the dog in the company of strangers?
Who put the dog in the high school cheerleading squad?
Who put the dog in the good old days?
Who put the dog in the Dogstar?
Who put the dog in the gas chamber?
Who put the dog in the midst of a political scandal?
Who put the dog in the House of Commons?
Who put the dog in the House of Lords?
Who put the dog in the gunge tank?
Who put the dog in the Ryder Cup team?
Who put the dog in the moon?
Who put the dog in the dance routine?
Who put the dog in the Oxford English Dictionary?
Who put the dog in the wrong section of the library?
Who put the dog in the bargain bin?
Who put the dog in the lion's den?
Who put the dog in the place of the cat?
Who put the dog in the end?

Friday 18 March 2011

I'm sorry, I don't speak avant-garde

Ou est le gare?
Sorry, I don't speak French.
Mon dieu...
Sorry, I don't speak French.

What would Foucault say about this?
Sorry, I don't speak Foucauldian.
My god...
Sorry, I don't speak Foucauldian.

cut grasping at faint nibs / poised and
infertile - futile - vertebrae
snap back and crackle, cackle and
empty throat beats like a sheep
tourniquet de France
------change-----alternative voice / and
placid / yes / affirm to all the world that
Sorry, I don't speak avant-garde.
dog / judge's wig
Sorry, I don't speak avant-garde.

I would dearly like to be fluent in avant-garde. I would like to be fluent in philosophy as well. They're both languages to be learned for me, in order for me to compete in their respective games. Both at this current point in time are at the same level as my Spanish was back at college. I could negotiate Spanish fine when it came to listening, reading and writing (As across the board baby), but when it came to speaking and thinking in Spanish directly, rather than deciphering it, I wasn't up to scratch (D). Same goes for avant-garde and philosophy. Enjoyable to read and write about and listen to, but when it comes to discussion I feel scattered. Forcing opinion out, squeezing it out of my brain results in fragmented mumblings that struggle to grip onto the topic at hand. Failing at these particular language games.

They say that the best way to get to grips with a language is to immerse yourself in its home and its culture. If you go abroad and are forced to deal with it being all around you then you should pick it up quicker than you would otherwise through necessity. That is why I am going to attend a nice avant-garde poetry evening on Tuesday coming, H! Zero!, where some fairly well regarded poets will be giving it their all. £4 entry. I am excited.

Many people I've spoken to have been fairly dismissive of avant-garde poetry. For me the excitement comes from it being something that you need to feel rather than observe. In conventional poetry you have well-trod paths of meaning that usually get picked up on; metre, rhyme, emphasis etc etc. With avant-garde poetry this can be sidestepped around, or danced straight through. The possibilities of freedom that it opens up are exciting, and to be able to get it is likewise an exciting prospect. As far as my own writing has been going, being exposed to it has definitely opened a few more creative doors. Exciting.

In summation, I hope that a growing exposure to this world will lead me onwards into more exciting realms of creativity. That and also perhaps I may be able to understand and see The King of Limbs for the work of genius that it actually is. Or perhaps not. En garde avant-garde! I am coming for you!

Wednesday 9 March 2011

Interruptions - draft 2


07/03/11

zzzzzzBEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!forfuckssake
just a few more minuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzBEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!
ok, ok, up i get
Into the shower, dressed, time for breakfast
Peanut butter on toast
This is rather stodgy and it's taking a long damn I'm going to miss the bus
Down to the Steine and onto Big Lemon
mp3 player on
1. Burning Down The House - this song is awesome
2. Making Flippy Floppy - I wish they were still together
3. Girlfriend is Better - this is where he put the big suit on
4. Slippery Peopoh look here's Nick from the seminar group
Discussion about presentations
Discussion about weekebus stop, off we get
Enter seminar room
Discussion ensues
"What do you think about the boredom of late capitalism?"
I think I'm going to sasomeone else makes a point.
Seminar is over
That was a really interesting seminar, though I wish I'd said something
Accumulation is really interesting thing
because when you amass enough of
a particular thing it loh look the bus is here
mp3 player on
1. Burning Dowalready heard this earlier
2. Mak
3. Gi
4. Slippery People - this version is a lot slower than the live version
5. I Get Wild/Wild Gravity - nice
6. Swamp - I love the guitar in this track
7. Moon Rwe've arrived at the Steine again
Back to the flat for lunch
Conversation with flat mate regarding some
of the topics discussed during the seminar
and in parbest head off to work now
mp3 player on
7. Moon Rocks - glad it's remembered where I'd got to
8. Pull Up The Roots - I'd like to dance to this
9. This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) - awesome so
9. This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) - ng I want to listen again
Arrive at work, yes I had a good time at school thanks
We were looking at this guy that transcribed one edition
of a daily newspaper and got it published, isn't that crazy?
Start thinking about potential term paper idewhat do you mean
we've got to cancel Thursday's surgery lists?
Phone calls to be making
Hi, I'm calling from the hospital, unfortunately we need to
reschedule your surgery date
"No!"
I'm really sorr"I've arranged childcare and everything!"
I'm really s"Can't you move it to the next day?"
We only have these lists on Thursday afternoons I'm afraid
"Unbelievable"
I hate this job
I wonder if Jean could help canc"I'm going to be heading off now!"
Oh, ok then, have a good evening.
More cancellations.
Home time.
Forgotten idea for term paper.
mp3 player on
1. Outside Inside - I can't believe Mike Skinner references Philip Larkin
2. Going Through Hell - beefy!
3. Roof Of Your Car - this sounds just like a game boy
4. Puzzled By Pehome again
Upstairs, quick snack, get changed for football
Walk in to Whitehawk, talking about the season with housemate


------------------------------------------------------------

I'm going to leave writing this draft here as I'm really tired. Immediately I think I'm going to need to lose some of the mp3 player bits, or maybe expand on the sections where the narrator is doing things i.e. at work, in the seminar. I'd also like to have attempting to think academically a constant presence, and put a bit more time into how the whole thing will look on the page, particularly regarding the length of lines.


09/03/11

zzzzzzBEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!forfuckssake
just a few more minuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzBEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!
ok, ok, up i get
Into the shower, dressed, time for breakfast
Peanut butter on toast
This is rather stodgy and it's taking a long damn I'm going to miss the bus
Down to the Steine and onto Big Lemon
mp3 player on
1. Burning Down The House - this song is awesome
2. Making Flippy Floppy - I wish they were still together
3. Girlfriend is Better - this is where he put the big suit on
4. Slippery Peopoh look here's Nick from the seminar group
Discussion about presentations
Discussion about weekebus stop, off we get
Enter seminar room
Discussion ensues
"What do you think about the boredom of late capitalism?"
I think I'm going to sasomeone else makes a point.
Seminar is over
That was a really interesting seminar, though I wish I'd said something
Accumulation is really interesting thing
because when you amass enough of
a particular thing it loh look the bus is here
mp3 player on
1. Burning Dowalready heard this earlier
2. Mak
3. Gi
4. Slippery People - this version is a lot slower than the live version
5. I Get Wild/Wild Gravity - nice
6. Swamp - I love the guitar in this track
7. Moon Rwe've arrived at the Steine again
Back to the flat for lunch
Conversation with flat mate regarding some
of the topics discussed during the seminar
and in parbest head off to work now
mp3 player on
7. Moon Rocks - glad it's remembered where I'd got to
8. Pull Up The Roots - I'd like to dance to this
9. This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) - awesome so
9. This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) - ng I want to listen again
Arrive at work, yes I had a good time at school thanks
We were looking at this guy that transcribed one edition
of a daily newspaper and got it published, isn't that crazy?
Start thinking about potential term paper idewhat do you mean
we've got to cancel Thursday's surgery lists?
Phone calls to be making
Hi, I'm calling from the hospital, unfortunately we need to
reschedule your surgery date
"No!"
I'm really sorr"I've arranged childcare and everything!"
I'm really s"Can't you move it to the next day?"
We only have these lists on Thursday afternoons I'm afraid
"Unbelievable"
I hate this job
I wonder if Jean could help canc"I'm going to be heading off now!"
Oh, ok then, have a good evening.
More cancellations.
Home time.
Forgotten idea for term paper.
mp3 player on
1. Outside Inside - I can't believe Mike Skinner references Philip Larkin
2. Going Through Hell - beefy!
3. Roof Of Your Car - this sounds just like a game boy
4. Puzzled By Pehome again
Upstairs, quick snack, get changed for football
Walk in to Whitehawk, talking about
the season so far with housemate;
It is going very well, we've won every
single game so far
Kick off
Attack! Goal!
Defend! Save!
Counter AttHalf Time!
Kick off
Attack! Goal!
Defend! Save!
Attack! Goal!
Attack! Save
Attack! Save
Attack! Goal!
Defend! Goal
Attack! Goal!
Attack! Goal!
AttFull Time!
Head back home via Lidl
in order to purchase some
dinner, probably pizza
as it is quick to prepare.
Shower and dinner.
No time for any reading
Can't remember what I'm supposed
to be reading for nexgirlfriend is here
Time for bed
Foreplay
Insertion
“Yesyesyesyesthat'sgood
yesohyesohoohyesohWhat?
Is that i”I'm really sorry
I was thinking about all of
the people whose ops got
cancelled
“That must have been horrible to have to do”
Yeah it was pretty bad
“Poor people, all those plans rui”zzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzBEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!forfuckssake

Monday 7 March 2011

Interruptions - draft 1

zzzzzzBEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!forfuckssake
just a few more minuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzBEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!
ok, ok, up i get
Into the shower, dressed, time for breakfast
Peanut butter on toast
This is rather stodgy and it's taking a long damn I'm going to miss the bus
Down to the Steine and onto Big Lemon
mp3 player on
1. Burning Down The House - this song is awesome
2. Making Flippy Floppy - I wish they were still together
3. Girlfriend is Better - this is where he put the big suit on
4. Slippery Peopoh look here's Nick from the seminar group
Discussion about presentations
Discussion about weekebus stop, off we get
Enter seminar room
Discussion ensues
"What do you think about the boredom of late capitalism?"
I think I'm going to sasomeone else makes a point.
Seminar is over
That was a really interesting seminar, though I wish I'd said something
Accumulation is really interesting thing
because when you amass enough of
a particular thing it loh look the bus is here
mp3 player on
1. Burning Dowalready heard this earlier
2. Mak
3. Gi
4. Slippery People - this version is a lot slower than the live version
5. I Get Wild/Wild Gravity - nice
6. Swamp - I love the guitar in this track
7. Moon Rwe've arrived at the Steine again
Back to the flat for lunch
Conversation with flat mate regarding some
of the topics discussed during the seminar
and in parbest head off to work now
mp3 player on
7. Moon Rocks - glad it's remembered where I'd got to
8. Pull Up The Roots - I'd like to dance to this
9. This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) - awesome so
9. This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) - ng I want to listen again
Arrive at work, yes I had a good time at school thanks
We were looking at this guy that transcribed one edition
of a daily newspaper and got it published, isn't that crazy?
Start thinking about potential term paper idewhat do you mean
we've got to cancel Thursday's surgery lists?
Phone calls to be making
Hi, I'm calling from the hospital, unfortunately we need to
reschedule your surgery date
"No!"
I'm really sorr"I've arranged childcare and everything!"
I'm really s"Can't you move it to the next day?"
We only have these lists on Thursday afternoons I'm afraid
"Unbelievable"
I hate this job
I wonder if Jean could help canc"I'm going to be heading off now!"
Oh, ok then, have a good evening.
More cancellations.
Home time.
Forgotten idea for term paper.
mp3 player on
1. Outside Inside - I can't believe Mike Skinner references Philip Larkin
2. Going Through Hell - beefy!
3. Roof Of Your Car - this sounds just like a game boy
4. Puzzled By Pehome again
Upstairs, quick snack, get changed for football
Walk in to Whitehawk, talking about the season with housemate


------------------------------------------------------------

I'm going to leave writing this draft here as I'm really tired. Immediately I think I'm going to need to lose some of the mp3 player bits, or maybe expand on the sections where the narrator is doing things i.e. at work, in the seminar. I'd also like to have attempting to think academically a constant presence, and put a bit more time into how the whole thing will look on the page, particularly regarding the length of lines.

Wednesday 2 March 2011

FC Søren Kierkegaard Match Reports III and IV

Real Madras 0 - 5 FC Søren Kierkegaard


Olly Murs notched a brace as Kierkegaard ran riot in the second half to thump sorry Real Madras.
Filipe Morais and Sam Mantom both went close for the hosts in the first half.
Kierkegaard took the lead when Murs slotted home from Will Brown's pass before Nasri and James McIntosh headed in from William Brown corners.
Murs then hit his 18th and 19th league goals of the season - first latching on to McIntosh's pass and then lashing home a superb late volley.
Madras, who have now failed to score in zero consecutive games, are in third, three points outside the promotion places.
The result leaves Kierkegaard in second, zero outside the automatic promotion places.

Team:
Ollie Arci
James McIntosh (c)
William Brown
Samir Nasri
Olly Murs


FC Søren Kierkegaard 7 - 5 Red Star Ranelagh

FC Søren Kierkegaard clinched their fourth PI Wednesday League win after overcoming a spirited challenge from Stanley Deason debutants Red Star Ranelagh.
Søren, the joint league leaders, looked to be in all kinds of trouble when they trailed 5-4, but they drew on all their experience to triumph 7-5.
Søren made a strong start, taking a 2-0 lead, including a 161 checkout.
But Red Star recovered and went 4-3 and then 5-4 ahead but their nerve failed and Søren capitalised for victory.
"I had to dig deep," Kierkegaard's Huzar, 24, told BBC Sport afterwards. "Deano had me in all sorts of problems."

Team:
Ollie Arci
William Brown
Tim Huzar (c)
Mike Walsh
Maximo Park